Super Moon: Two Days Ago

I went to find you.  I attempted to impose myself upon your mercy.  Show up at your door.  There would be no way you could look into my eyes and tell me that I wasn’t worth it.  No way.  I boarded a plane.  My gut knowing that it would end badly.  That even if you still loved me, you would send me away.  But I had to.  It was the Super Moon.  We fell in love under the moon.  The moon forced our hand, made us love.  Even though we are both half broke horses with fear in our hearts.  At the very least, I would get closure.  You told me our love was a sure thing, and now I was looking for a good bye.

I never made it to your door.  Your anger stopped me within 20 miles of your body.  I parked.  I put on every piece of clothing I brought.  And I sat under the Super Moon.  I begged it to guide me.  I cried.  I raged.  I loved you the entire time.  I spoke to the moon about love and friendship, bravery, and strength.  I apologized for being too afraid to let you know that my whole everything would always be for you.  No matter how far away.  Every few hours when the cold got to be too much, I drove another ten miles away from you, the heat cranked to get me a few more minutes of sleep.  And the further away I got the more I realized that there is no such thing as a sure thing.  No matter how deep you love someone, mistakes get made, words get spoken, and fear grows larger than a warriors heart.

In the airport, the normally rude crowd of travelers treated me with a gentleness that one saves for the bereaved.  They knew that I had lost something to large to explain.  I knew that I had lost the consort of the moon.  I knew that I had debased myself so as to fight for love.  We all know that there is no fighting for love.  It’s like dancing for architecture.  I was humbled and fortified by this fact.  This day set in motion a new era for me.  I have nothing but the deepest reverence for the love I chased that night and for the man who gave chase.  Only a truly lonely man would turn his back on a love like mine and only a weak woman would give up on love entirely because of one broken heart.  And I, my friends, am not weak.  Only wounded.

candles-snow-unknown

 

2 thoughts on “Super Moon: Two Days Ago

  1. This is seriously epic, Josi. Wow. You have a beautiful way with words and expressing those deep emotions, wounds, and crazy intense life moments we all experience. You. Are. Beautiful.

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