Deferred

Today we discuss what happens when you put your dreams behind all the other earthly duties.  What happens when ones art takes a back seat to money, public opinion, convenience?  Right now I can tell you exactly what happens.  Every second that isn’t spent at some job or imagined duty is spent in sheer terror. That’s what.  Every slight or wasted minute stacks up and waits in the back of the mind.  And then, like an infestation, you become aware of this heaping pile chilling in your psyche.  It’s in every nook, the foundation is riddled, and you are sitting on a massive liability.  The time it will take to go back and reclaim yourself is almost too daunting to calculate.  Where has all this time and energy gone?  Who is getting the rewards?  One guess…..the person who is winning is the one who stopped following other peoples orders and started following their own.

I am not going to tie any of this post up with optimistic musings on how to reclaim ones dreams.  To be honest, I am not sure how.  I imagine that it involves letting go of your regrets and whittling away at that list of passions and creative hungers.  But at this moment all I want is my life back.  How to do this is a small mystery to me.  Every unsatisfied moment seems like evidence of my own failure to launch.  So, now, I am looking to you.  Find that fire, stoke it, share it, use it to burn down to walls that keep out the light.  Imagine me, now, huddling over the smallest of flames, blowing, praying, adding wood.  Lets hope that it is enough.